Cultivating Peace: Understanding Forgiveness Through the Lens of Gardening

Forgiveness can be likened to gardening—a meticulous nurturing, healing, and growing process. Thich Nhat Hanh, a Zen master and spiritual leader, emphasised that just as a gardener tends to their plants, we must cultivate our capacity to forgive with intention and mindfulness. This metaphor illustrates the process and embodies the patience required to see it through.

The Roots of Understanding

Forgiveness begins with understanding, much like a garden starts with the soil. Studies show that understanding the emotional states of others can significantly ease interpersonal conflicts (Glasl, F., 1997). Just as a gardener learns about the soil’s composition, we too must delve into the underlying reasons behind actions that hurt us. Recognizing that these actions are often the result of pain or ignorance allows us to approach forgiveness with empathy rather than anger.

Interconnected Growth

The concept of ‘Interbeing’ from Thich Nhat Hanh teaches us that all life is interconnected, in a similar way to how plants share nutrients through their root systems. Research in ecological studies illustrates how interconnectedness in ecosystems leads to resilience and growth (Simard, S. W., 2012). In human relationships, acknowledging our interconnectedness helps us understand that our own healing is not isolated from the healing of others. Forgiving someone else is, in many ways, an act of healing oneself.

Nurturing Through Mindfulness

Just as a gardener must be present to notice the weeds and water the plants, mindfulness is essential in the practice of forgiveness. Being present with our pain, acknowledging it without judgement, allows us to process and eventually transcend it. A study by Witvliet, C.V.O., et al. (2001) demonstrated that the act of forgiveness could lead to reduced stress responses, highlighting the personal health benefits of this practice.

Cultivating Compassionate Listening

Active and compassionate listening is like pruning a garden; it helps to clear away the old, dead growth to make room for new growth. By listening to understand rather than respond, we open pathways to reconciliation. Educational psychology suggests that compassionate listening can transform relationships and foster deeper mutual respect (Zakrzewski, V., 2013).

Instructions for a Forgiveness Contemplation: Mindfulness of Breath

To integrate these ideas, begin with a simple mindfulness practice:

• Find a quiet space: Sit in a quiet place where you can be undisturbed for a few minutes.
• Focus on your breath: Close your eyes and bring your attention to your breath. Breathe naturally, without trying to change your breathing pattern.
• Acknowledge your feelings: As you settle into the rhythm of your breath, bring to mind a situation where forgiveness feels necessary. Notice any feelings that arise without judgement.
• Breathing in compassion: With each inhalation, imagine you are breathing in compassion and calm.
• Breathing out release: With each exhalation, envision releasing the pain and tension associated with the memory.
• Repeat: Continue this cycle for several minutes, allowing your breath to guide you towards a state of peace and acceptance.

Through the metaphor of gardening, we see that forgiveness, like gardening, requires patience, persistence, and care. It is a practice that nurtures our well-being and relationships, allowing us to grow into more compassionate and understanding individuals.

We can practise with the Plum Village App, offering guided meditations by Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh.

References

Glasl, F. (1997). Confronting Conflict: A First-Aid Kit for Handling Conflict. Hawthorn Press.

Hanh, T. N. (1991). Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life. Bantam Books.

Simard, S. W. (2012). Mycorrhizal networks: Mechanisms, ecology and modelling. Fungal Biology Reviews, 26(1), 39-60. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.fbr.2012.01.001

Witvliet, C. V. O., Ludwig, T. E., & Vander Laan, K. L. (2001). Granting forgiveness or harboring grudges: Implications for emotion, physiology, and health. Psychological Science, 12(2), 117-123. https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-9280.00320

Zakrzewski, V. (2013). How to cultivate compassionate listening in the classroom. Greater Good Magazine. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/how_to_cultivate_compassionate_listening_in_the_classroom